Nothing says shitcunt energy quite like a war on the other side of the planet somehow reaching into your wallet in New Zealand. The Iran conflict has disrupted one of the busiest oil routes in the world, and now everything from fuel to flights is getting more expensive.

We’re down here minding our own business, trying to afford mince and keep the car going, and suddenly geopolitics has turned into a local cost of living crisis. It’s not even here, but it’s still ruining absolutely everything for ordinary people.